Time Passeth

I am bad at multi-tasking. Just ask Taylor. If I start a sewing project or a baking endeavor, all else gets put on hold until. it’s. finished. It’s the worst with sewing, especially with Macia-Babe around these days, because I kinda let her do whatever she wants and I don’t make dinner. So when T comes home the house is a disaster (though the Babe is usually still smiling) and there is no food to eat.

If we do something like plan a weekend trip to New York–y’know, a simple thing, right?–even with an extra day added to the weekend, I can’t seem to jump back into the swing of things. That’s why I was AWOL last week. And yesterday. And Monday.

Also because last Sunday was the 3 year anniversary of Momma’s death. I knew, before we left for New York, that that date fell during our weekend, but I honestly forgot all about it until the evening of the 11th and we were on our way to dinner with friends. My sister had posted something on facebook and it hit me hard. Three years. I was pretty mellow the rest of the evening, though I did have fun and it was great to see our friends and our kids play together.

Home, work, cleaning, making food, going to the park. We did all those things last week. Saturday there was a bridal shower followed by food with friends. The dinner was lovely and Babers loved having so many people around to adore her. After dinner, we put her to bed and everyone but Viv and I went out for drinks. We stayed up late talking–just shooting the breeze, just us sisters, and she stayed the night. It was good to have her there again, a little like old times.

Yes, Saturday was St Patrick’s day, but I didn’t feel like going out. Three years ago on the Feast of St Patrick, we buried Momma. And I miss her. I miss all my family, near and far. But she was a binding thread that kept us all connected. It’s harder and easier without her as the years go by. Harder because we realize new ways to miss her each day. Easier because we become ‘used to’ our lives as they are now, without her.

It’s been a tough week for me, clearly. All my energy and focus zeroed in on grieving, though not actively (figure that one out), on remembering, reflecting. I was just exhausted, mentally. There was space for little else.

I’m slowly getting back in the buggy. Yesterday I had a little therapeutic cry and went for a run with Macia in the stroller. I made dinner, cleaned the kitchen, sorted the laundry, exercised some more, and processed some photos. So bear with me while I come out of my fog..

Would you like to hear about  our trip to NY?



6 comments

  1. Viv wrote:

    great post seester 🙂 (Even if I am a little late in reading it).

    love you!

  2. Cate Jones wrote:

    Beautiful as ever Anne! I love the photo you posted too!

  3. Renee wrote:

    Well, you did a lot in the last week! I think getting anything done other than kid-care is hugely productive. Let’s hear about New York.

    • renidemus wrote:

      sometimes even kid-care seems insurmountable.. when all she wants to do is be awake and all i want to do is sleep 😛 there must be a balance somehow!