Processing…

I fully admit that one of the reasons I haven’t been blogging is because–all at the same time–I have nothing and far too many things to write about. I could write for weeks about how I felt when my daughter was baptized, when she was christmated, when she received her first communion. And yet, I can say “she’s baptized.” and that seems sufficient, too.

I treasure so many things in my heart and I can’t decide if I should share them, if I am able to do them justice here. Will you understand the weight of these Things?  will I fall into babbling and gushing and lose my point along the way? how can I possibly write how it feels when she smiles at me, when she calls him “mah daddieee”, or the way she dances in and out of the light in my home while I sew?

But I know I should try. I’ve always turned to writing to help process things, to accept them, work through it all. I am glad to be writing again. Even if no one reads it, even if it’s crap writing, it’s good for me to sit and reflect. It’s good for me to pause and remember and plan.

It takes time to process–life changes, photographs, even day-to-day living all need a chance to be examined. A little dedicated gazing can’t hurt–fixing my sight on something and just dealing with it for a little while.

And so, here we go.