A New Year

A new you!

Right? Isn’t that how the saying goes? The new year is the time for change, the time for resolutions and good intentions. A time to look back and evaluate and reflect. Last year, I resolved a few things, and did fairly well (as I sit typing in my me-made orange and yellow jersey knit skirt with pockets!).

But I lingered there, a year ago, looking back..

look-y

Last year at this time, we’d had the Babe for three months. We were nervously–and also firmly hopefully–approaching the hearing date which would determine whether she could stay with us or not. We were hoping to remain a family forever but also owning up to the possibility of never seeing her again.

And I still cry. Oh! just remembering how it felt to think of never seeing her again bursts my heart with anguish and overflows it with Joy. She’s here. She sleeps in our bed. She wakes us up with kisses. She poops on the bathroom floor.

loves

If I had to sum up the past year for you, I’d say it was a year of finishing. Not finishing as in “done,” though. More like a finishing school–they tidy you up and send you on the way to live the rest of your life.

We finished many things last year. Macie was made free for adoption. She could stay. And we introduced her here. Taylor finished law school. Macia was baptized. My sister–the youngest in my family!–got married. We moved from Boston. We set up in Seattle with T’s folks. And we finalized the adoption, at long last [post to come–you haven’t missed anything].

Here, this year, we are looking at fresh pages, bright white, blinking in the sunlight. A year of new-ness. More starting, less finishing.

But in looking back, I realized that I am “new” today not because I will make changes this year. Rather, it’s all that’s happened to me, all the finishing of last year, that revealed the new me. I am as I am today because of yesterday.

I am so grateful for last year. For all the many steps we took to bring us here.

boots